The 36 questions to make you fall in love! Will the test work for you?

Publish date: 2024-08-13

Can you really fall in love with someone after 36 questions? How about anyone?

A 20-year-old study says you can - and so does the New York Times journalist who took psychologist Arthur Aron's 1997 test to see if closeness could be created in an experimental environment.

The quiz progresses from relaxed questions like, 'Would you like to be famous? In what way?' to more intimate ones such as, 'What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?'.

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Can you really fall in love with someone after 36 questions? In 1997, a New York Arthur Aron made strangers fall in love using a simple experiment deigned to create closeness between two strangers 

Can you really fall in love with someone after 36 questions? In 1997, a New York Arthur Aron made strangers fall in love using a simple experiment deigned to create closeness between two strangers 

For his study, Aron paired up a couple of strangers - a heterosexual man and woman - and gave them 45 minutes to answer the list of 36 questions, which gradually grew more intimate.

Then, the couple had to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes in total silence.

In the end, the two participants who had walked into his laboratory through separate doors as total strangers fell in love.

Six months later they got married - and invited the entire lab to the ceremony.

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And 20 years on, Mandy Len Catron, author of the popular Modern Love column in The New York Times, tried out the experiment and is now in a relationship with the man who took the test with her.

Here, FEMAIL reveal the 36 questions said to make anyone fall in love with you. 

They are broken into the three sets, or 'rounds', as they were originally presented. Each set is intended to be more intimate than the one that came before. 

The data from the 1980s reveals two significant questions couple's can ask their partners

FEMAIL reveals the 36 questions by psychologist Arthur Aron said to make anyone fall in love with you

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a 'perfect' day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Each set is intended to be more intimate than the one that came before - and is said to bring you closer

Each set is intended to be more intimate than the one that came before - and is said to bring you closer

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

A psychologist said his experiment makes people fall in love - and it still worked for one person 20 years later

A psychologist said his experiment makes people fall in love - and it still worked for one person 20 years later

Set III

25. Make three true 'we' statements each. For instance, 'We are both in this room feeling ... '

26. Complete this sentence: 'I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... '

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

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